1. Writing as a recursive process:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UoZDerEY9A0M7xGEFQrAG9SLNzSEBgGDoDO9VPHmTgA/edit
In my first draft, I found that the paragraph talking about Angela Davis did not make sense where I put it and it didn’t make sense being in my essay at all. I decided to take it out and it flowed better after that. I also did not have a good understanding where commas should, and shouldn’t be placed.
One example where I had a comma but it ended up making a comma splice was
“ That became the social stigma around that disease, when the truth was AIDS was not contagious, people were just scared about how serious the disease gets.” The first comma is a comma splice because both parts of the sentence could have been a separate sentence. Also, the second comma could have been changed to a period and been a separate sentence. I did not catch this when completing my final draft but I see it now.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wpFLVxnlEEE_b1_LjWwPfS-rULLY4Ue5MpMSHyboNhU/edit
In my final draft, I decided to move to talk about Anne Hallward more towards the beginning and gave her more of a paragraph. Also, bringing my story back to explain how my story ties in with her safe space radio.
Update:
In my podcast, I did not have any comma splices compared to my first essay. I was able to better pick them out. I continue to grow on where commas are important and needed.
I also was able to reread my paper and see if a better transition was needed or if more detailed needed to be added. I definitely grew in that aspect compared to my first essay.
2. Integrating your ideas with the ideas of others
I never felt I knew the proper way to cite a quote, but this class has taught me how to properly use a quote. Also how paraphrasing can be used and that it needs to be cited as well. I remember being taught that only a word for word quote needs to be cited but you can rewrite some of the words and that is fine, I have learned that is plagiarizing. The quotation sandwich is a way to use a quote by introducing it than explaining the quote. An example of how I used this is:
This not only helps the person sharing their story but someone who may have an idea as to what is a normal way of looking at someone. This will in turn change how society first looks at someone, “ [Anne] think that telling our vulnerable silent stories is like a form of nonviolent social change and it can be unstoppable” (10:07), talking is not going to harm anyone but it gives that person with a story to change a persons perspective. This kind of sharing could be one of the best ways to change social stigma.
I believe the way I used the quotation sandwich was correct but I want to work on it more to make them flow the right way seamlessly.
Update:
I have continued to use quotation sandwich as above. No change from the first essay.
3. Active, critical reading:
I think critical reading is a strong point for me. I annotate the article or book I am reading in a way to help me look back or understand what it meant to me.
In the first picture to the left, I noticed how I could make a text to self-connection. With the other notations, it was a way for me to read what the highlighting was important to me. Some paragraphs can be confusing so I will sometimes ask questions or write the first thing that comes to mind as to what I think it means. I use different colors to show what is very important and what is extra information.
I am going to continue what I am doing as I feel like it helps me when looking back.
Update:
Adding on the above process I have also begun to annotate paragraphs in which I did not highlight anything. I do this to give myself a note about the paragraph in whole, instead of just a certain line. This informs me that the information may be of secondary importance. I have done this to be sure that I don’t have to reread a paragraph but will still know what’s in it.
4. Critiques your own and others’ work:
I think I lake in critiques other work and my own. For someone’s paper, I find it hard to see anything wrong because they seem well written to me. I also don’t want to make that person feel as if there work isn’t good. I notice people have some of the same writing styles as me and I feel as if my writing is good. I have trouble with grammar and punctuation and find it hard to pick it out in another paper. I can notice if something doesn’t flow well which I addressed in a classmates paper when a transition sentence seemed to be missing. She agreed with me when pointed out.
I think as my writing improves, I will be able to see mistakes in both my own papers and another. One thing I am doing now that has helped is reading my paper out loud. It seems to help me find mistakes when heard out loud.
Update:
I have continued to see my mistakes when reading my paper out loud. In my podcast there was a part where I typed “and the maintenance came and fixed them”, but when I read that out loud I noticed that adding “the” before maintenance made no sense. I also received this advice from my history professor and since then I have received better, and better grades on my papers in her class.
5. Using MLA citation:
When I learned about citing I was never told about what paraphrasing is so it still feels new. I feel comfortable now doing it but haven’t used it much as I have always felt more comfortable just quoting the line. I am going to use paraphrasing more to become more comfortable.
In my essay, I wrote: This will in turn change how society first looks at someone, “ [Anne] think that telling our vulnerable silent stories is like a form of nonviolent social change and it can be unstoppable” (10:07)
I realized that I quoted that wrong and I should have reworded the quote to introduce Anne and then keep the original quote as “I think” instead of changing it to [Anne], which made the quote incorrect. I am going to work on making sure my quotes are written correctly and try paraphrasing more.
Updated:
Adding on what I have learned above. I have also learned about block quotes and how if a sentence is more then 4 lines then it needs to be indented and it does not need quotes. When you do a block quote the time stamp still goes at the end but the period goes before the parentheses. In a normal quote, the period goes after the parentheses. I see above how I did not put a period in but it would go after the parentheses.
6. Managing individual error patterns:
I identified that I have a pattern of comma splices. Two examples that were pointed out on my final draft were, “When society stigmatizes a culture or race it becomes the “normal” way of addressing that person or culture, that is what many want society to shy away from. When people being stigmatized against speak up, it can sometimes change the way we look at things and start the connection of people working together to change the stigma around people, this is called social cohesion.”
I highlighted the two comma splices in this part. When working through this issue I found that having a clear definition as to what a comma splice is, gives me a better knowledge of spotting them. After I complete my paper, I reread it and look at every comma then I am able to see if it is a comma splice or not.
Update:
I am still growing as a writer but I have become more comfortable finding my comma splices as stated above. In my podcast I had no comma splices compared to my first essay.
